Tuesday, May 10, 2016

Do We Raise Daughters to Become Mothers?

Do We Raise Daughters to become mothers? 

This was a question one of my Facebook friends posed to all of us and it got me to thinking about how I was raised.

I believe was raised to be a good person. My mom didn't raise me to be a mother, but I had her to be an excellent example of what mother can be. I'll never forget when I was a 20 yrs old visiting during my college spring break. I had my boyfriend of 3 years with me. People who knew me and saw me in this long term relationship stated to me it's serious and hinted at marriage in my future. I asked my mom should I be thinking about marriage? The idea actually frightened me because I felt far too young to be thinking about marriage.  She told me when it's that time, I would know. She said not to worry about what other people say about what I should do and when I should be doing it. She never pushed me in one direction or another, she allowed me to develop on my own.

Though I am not a mother to a girl, I believe that we should raise our girls with good moral
character.  If I am blessed with a daughter, I will raise my little girl to know that she can be whatever she wants to be, do whatever she wants to do and be a good mother to her children.  I will not raise her to believe that the end all goal is to be a wife and mother. I will raise her to find out what satisfies her in life and if that is being a wife and/or a mother, then I am satisfied.

By nature I believe women to be emotional creatures and nurturers. Not everyone is built that way and may require time to develop certain traits or characteristics and that is perfectly fine. I think as mothers, we sometimes unknowingly raise our children through our actions as well. My mom did not out right say to me everything I needed to know about being a woman. I saw in her everyday interactions with people and my Dad.  I saw her get home from work and prepare dinner for us and she got up in the morning and did the same for breakfast.  I saw how she put my Dad and his needs first, but we were still loved and cared for.  I saw how they worked together as a team.  I saw that they spent most of their time with each other instead of with other people.

I do think times have changed and there are more single parent homes so the two parent dynamic is something that can not be seen in every home.  I believe women who understand the two parent family dynamic should be be willing to take an active role in a young lady's life and be another positive role model.  You should not try to replace a girl's mother, but be a sister and help her.  We live in a society now where I feel we as women do not fully support each other and we do not fully carry ourselves with the pride and respect we deserve.  We need to be better example of women to our daughters and to other women who are trying to find their way.  We are the backbone of our society and we have forgotten how powerful we are.  We need to raise our daughters to know their worth.  A strong foundation of values and principles is where we need to start and build.

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