I dated really good guys who were good to me, but I felt something was missing. I dated guys who weren't honest about their true intentions and who lied and cheated on me. After each relationship I took the time to understand what exactly happened to cause it to end. From there, I looked at MY hand in the demise of the relationship. I've learned that I could only be better for the next person.
I had one relationship in particular that had a rough ending for me. It threw me for a loop. I had to find a way to get myself together. I did that by getting my priorities together and taking time for myself. I continued to stay active in church and I deepened my relationship with God. I moved into my first apartment and all I had was me. I honestly loved it. I had the freedom to what I wanted. I spent time with myself. I took time away from dating and fell in love with myself. I learned what I wanted from my next relationship. Eventually I started to date again, but it was easy to let them go when things were not right because I knew the guys were not what I needed. I did not look for the guys just to fill a lonely void with something physical. I kept busy, and dated myself. Hung out with my friends and stay involved with church.
The first conversation I had over the phone with my fiance Nygel lasted until the sun came up. It was the best conversation of my life. I enjoyed my time with him. He really became my best friend. The problem was I was afraid to commit to him because of some personal things of my past. He was strong, caring and I felt safe with him. I took a chance and it was the best choice of my life. Now I seriously look forward to marriage. We are a team and I would not rather have anyone else by my side. He does not complete me. I am already whole. He compliments my life in the best way where I may be lacking and add to the good things I already have.
For those who are still looking for their Mr. or Mrs.. I can only tell you a few things of what worked for me:
- Understand yourself and what you need.
- Find your best friend.
- It its OK to make mistakes as long as you learn and move forward
- Spend time with yourself and be alone.
- Learn to love yourself.
- Don't keep the old around because you don't make space for the new.
- Don't look for someone to occupy your time if they are not worthy.
- Do not have someone around just for the physical. Make way for the one God has for you.
- Get to know God and his love.
- Learn to trust and step out on faith.
- Don't bring your past into your present or future if it does not positively influence it.